Same s**t, different day.

Slowly it sneaks into our lives – the famous crisis of the mid-twenties. Among trend-conscious hipsters and workaholics who will suffer from burnout one day, the crisis is known as “quarterlife crisis”. Most of the time it hits you (or stabs you from the back) after your graduation or when you realize that you have not achieved the goals that you set when you were 18 (wisdom, be a yacht owner, have a serious relationship, kick Richard Branson from his throne).

How do you know if you are in this wonderful stage of life? Well my dear, here is a check list (if more than three points apply to you, you should consider leaving the country. Because there is no chance that you find a way back from your social disorder or alcoholism.)

Hysteria: Excuse me, you say puberty is a bad age? Come on. In your mid-twenties your normal day looks like this: in the morning you are chased by evil depressions because you realize that you actually have no idea what to do with your life. Damn, what was the meaning of life again? At midday you develop aggressions against colleagues and slow fellow human beings. In the evening you experience euphoric outbursts of yet unknown emotions, something between over-optimism, “I deserve better!” and love (for whatever, may it be the gin tonic). At late night, ADHD-alike feelings that are based on the fear of being alone forever or already having missed half of the life keep you from sleeping.

Physical change: The times are over when you could easily party for three days in a row, drink one Long Island Ice Tea in one sip and talk about intellectual things on the next morning. And you still looked like a fresh Granny Smith apple. Now you have the color of a Granny Smith. Even three days after partying.

Undergrad-nostalgia: “Do I really have to graduate or can I just stay here for the rest of my life?” never sounded so painful like it does now. Strangely enough most memories derived from the university are either vaguely kept in memory or they are connected to torture (remember those sleepless nights – at the library?). Oh sweet youth, stay a bit longer. This time I will study harder and party less, I promise. Working for other people is something for uninspired creatures.

Love: Uhh… which love? During this egocentric trip you can only address compliments to yourself. And even at the third date you put every potential friend/lover/listener to flight, because at some point on the hot-crazy-scale the “crazy” curve shape looses its validity.

Extreme communication needs: Put the mobile phone away? Are you kidding me? What if your next big love/career chance of your life/lottery win is going to call you? Besides, you can not forego the constant applause of your friends for your brave acts (“Listen, I did something reaaaally crazy yesterday!”). If all of your friends seem to disappear for vacation or suddenly do not answer your calls, you should consider asking them how they are. They have a life too, did you know that?

Bad decisions: Rationality belongs to the past. Even Daniel Kahneman can’t tell you nothing with his wise book “Thinking, fast and slow”. At your mid-twenties you don’t know “slow thinking” and no cognitive biases. On top of this, it is a waste of time to think about it because you already have passed the peak of life and do not have much time to live. Thinking is overrated. Since you have spent so many years on wise and well-considered decisions, you have to live fast now. Back to work tomorrow? Naaaah, I have to be happy right now. Psychotropic substances? Why not. An other gin tonic? Of course!!!