A few months ago I wrote a letter to my two much younger sisters (8 and 14) who live in Germany. Being so far from them (on a different continent), I sometimes have the urge to teach them things about life. Mostly because I want them to avoid making the same glorious mistakes I did, but also because I believe that young girls need encouragement once in a while.
Dear Ewa, dear Vivienne,
I decided to write you a letter because I doubt you will listen to your older sister. But listen up, I have to tell you something. Let me start with the most obvious one:
1. Always study hard in school.
Even if that means that you might miss a party or someone might call you an “uncool” girl. Be a proud nerd. Let me tell you a secret: People who get good grades in school will be invited to much cooler parties later in life as adults. Don’t pay attention to those popular girls in class who know the latest gossip, who have the most stylish clothing and who everyone has a crush on. Well, the really cool guys will have a crush on girls who prefer to go to a good university and who are not interested in gossip. They just need a bit more time to realize that. (A looooot of time actually – be patient.)
2. Don’t believe in THE Happy End.
You have seen it before in animated movies: The princess gets rescued by Prince Charming. They get married, probably raise kids, and in the end there is always a “happy end”. There are many more happy endings in life than that. You don’t have to be rescued by a prince and you don’t have to marry one in order to be happy. You can be a queen and reign over your own kingdom. You can build (or buy) your own castle. You can fall in love or not, you can marry or not. You can fall in love with princesses and with princes. What I am saying: the one path in life that is portrayed in movies does not exist. You can shoot your own movie with your own rules. Pink unicorns? Fast cars that drive under water? Castles made of cotton candy? Everything is possible in your movie.
3. Look for ballsy role models.
Yeah, I get it: there are plenty of cool kids on Instagram who look pretty and who have tons of designer clothes/champagne bottles. But you should admire people who stand out with their skills or ideas. How about female professional surfers who are not afraid of monster-waves? Or engineers who build electric cars? Or journalists who are not afraid to speak up? There are a lot of amazing people out there who change our planet and who hold on to their beliefs, regardless of how uncomfortable it gets. Learn from them, read their books, listen to them. And who knows, maybe you will be one of them and a role model for the next generation.
4. Be open to the world.
Go on adventures – small and big ones. Grab your friend or just go by yourself. Explore different cultures and countries (less #wanderlust and #thepathlesstraveled, more real conversations). Munich will always be your home – but life is happening outside of your comfort zone and outside of safe environments. Find friends from Lebanon, Nigeria or the US. Never think that you are better than anyone else just because you grew up in Germany – because you can learn a lot that people in Germany won’t teach you. Question things that seem apparent. Never lose your curiosity. Behind every person and every journey you can find a miracle that needs to discovered.
5. Believe in yourself (and only yourself).
A lot of people will tell you this: You can’t do this. They will also say: You are too young for this. You are not cool enough. You don’t have the necessary stamina. You can’t wear short dresses and expect people to take you seriously. You should not study that because that will be too hard for you. You are not pretty. You are a girl and girls don’t do things like that.
People will always think they know better. Boys sometimes will think you are weird because you are interested in things that only boys are supposed to do. But you know what? The big majority of people will end up being pretty boring in their lives and total party poopers. That is why you should never listen to them and listen to your inner voice instead. Just keep doing your thing. (Remember the famous UniWolfCheetah mural we saw in Venice Beach? I am sure the UniWolfCheetah does not care at all about people who say you can’t be a unicorn, wolf, and cheetah at the same time.)
6. You have endless opportunities.
You are lucky. You will be educated when you grow up and you will have a voice – sometimes that is all you need to get far in life. You are imposing limits to yourself and no one else. You know what I mean – the little voice in your head that tells you: You can’t do this. But why listen to this voice? You have dreams and ideas of how your life should be. If you believe in your crazy ideas and work as hard as possible for your dreams then you will see that they come true. Never be satisfied with the average and just a “that is ok”. Always look for the “this is amazing!”. The best thing about life is that everything is possible. Be brave. Provoke and be uncomfortable sometimes. Destroy barriers who are built by society and by bores who complain. Have fun breaking these barriers and being able to be everything you want to be. By the way, fun! Whatever you do, always have fun! Because life is an amazing adventure and it would be a shame if you didn’t smile during that ride.
ali falls in love 