This post could also be called: What the hell was I thinking when I decided to move to San Francisco? When I moved out of Munich, the city that mainly consists of unicorns and princesses, and packed my bags to go to California and do the masters I felt very brave. In your face Munich, no more Cappuchino-drinking, LV-wearing blond people! I am over brands, reputation and small town gossip! On the fifth day of my stay in San Francisco I was ready to pack my bags again and fly back to the open arms of my mom. Intimidated, stressed, demolished and doubtful. Have you ever tried to find a tiny studio in a city full of highly paid tech geeks and young professionals? No? Read this before you move here or when you are a newcomer to this city. (Although very wonderful city.)
The Hills.
Those f******g hills! Everybody knows that Rome is built on seven hills, but where did you learn that San Francisco is built on 43 hills? After five intense days of apartment-hunting you have bulked up muscles of steel like Hulk. And pain. Your knees, ankles and everything else hurts like hell. Because Google Maps is a mean liar! It tells you that you actually need to walk 20 minutes from A to B. Add 40 minutes. Because most probably you have to climb 3 hills between A and B.
The smell.
Usually non-existent for people from Munich. That is why you have to train your senses. What most tourists and newcomers do not know when they come here: homelessness is a serious issue here. And the problems that come along with it. Big mistake: Staring at your phone, texting or looking for music while walking down the street. Because you could step in something that could ruin your day.
The weather.
Europeans love the weather here. The Latin Americans not so much. Impressively the day has 3 seasons. In the morning it is mostly foggy or awkwardly sticky, in the afternoon you get a sunburn after 10 minutes and in the evening the wind blows you away aggressively. That leads to the fact that you have to change several times a day or your body does not know if it should sweat or freeze. What did mom say 15 years ago? Honey, you will get sick! Welcome to the club of the cold catchers. How to avoid this? Functional layering (see picture below). Recently I read this in a magazine: „A Patagonia vest will keep you warm but not get you laid.“ Obviously a dilemma in this city.
The rainbow.
This city is liberal. Man loves man, woman loves woman, man loves both woman and man and the list goes on. Everywhere you go you see rainbow flags and couples walking their cute little dogs that fit into their tiny apartments. So lovely. Even the gay corner of the Dolores Park is just a huge, everlasting block party of immortal good mood. Tabledance bars and nude male shows for everyone! You find it so damn liberal and cool until you get hit on by the same gender for the first time and you, as a conservative and square person, do not know how to deal with it.
The rent.
Let’s not even talk about it. If you don’t want to move to Tenderloin and run around like an illuminated advertising sign for iPhones you should accept the fact that shopping will be passé. Fancy dinners at restaurants too. Oh, and forget champagne. Unless you always wanted to experience this CSI-feeling you never got in your boring and small town back home.
Opening hours at night.
Around 1.30am you will hear a bartender scream at you: “Spill your cocktail or drink fast! We are closing.” You have 10 seconds before he pours it behind the bar. You have to decide fast. What do you do? You down this drink. Because it costed you 15 dollars and it’s 1.30 already. If you are still sober by 12pm, well, your fault. This all seems like a daily spring break for adults until you realize that you will not find a person on a Friday night who is still sober at 10pm in a bar. Time is running, my dear. This is not Berlin.
The magic.
No matter how much you fight it, this city soaks you in and seduces you. It lulls you in a state of bliss and while you are still refusing to accept the liberality and the excessive „live and let live“ attitude you realize: YOU ARE LOST FOREVER. In a good way.
ali falls in love 
Such valid points! SF is both hideous and beautiful. And very strange, so many strange people. Interesting to read a new comers opinion of it. Keep up the spirit and look to the night (although foggy) side.
I loved this post! So witty and sarcastic but so totally true. As someone who has lived in Europe and now on the West Coast (I am between Seattle and Vancouver), I can relate. However, San Francisco with all its craziness remains one of my favorite cities in the world. I am always in awe of the nature surrounding it, and I love the architecture. The people are a hoot.
Thank you! It is really nice to know that people can relate to those experiences. You are right about San Francisco, it is a very special place, especially if you love nature AND technology. By the way, your blog is also very inspiring!
Thank you! My blog need A LOT of work…but will be blogging again soon…stay tuned 🙂
👍❤️🙌
Hi,
just came across your question in one of the German Facebook groups and started to read your blogs.
Love the way you write about your experiences!
It reminded me on one of my own experiences. When the visa questions came up, I was wondering is it worse the efforts or when do you know when it’s time to go?
One day I was sailing with friends on the bay and so I asked a Marin native that question and she just smiled and said at the time to me, don’t worry you will know when that day comes, till then keep enjoying the beautiful place and making the best out of your life!
I thanked her and felt a little more at ease and took her advise!
And to the day when I am flying into SFO and the moment I drive across the Golden Gate Bridge to Marin, I still feel the same as on that Easter Sunday when I first arrived ……..I am coming home!
This is beautifully said, Helmut! I am glad that my writing resonated with you and happy to hear that you still feel the same happy feeling when crossing the GG bridge. It’s a truly magical place.