ALL IN!

That’s it. I can feel it.

God, I laughed about it all the time when people were talking about life changing decisions – choosing a job, choosing a partner to marry, choosing a house to live in, choosing a country to live in. Booring, you old people with no visions in life! Then it hit me straight in my face last week. I was one of them. I needed to choose what I wanted to do with my life.

And now I am here, standing on a Californian cliff, 10.000 km away from home, in front of me a beautiful but rough ocean with cold waves. I can jump into this cold water or I can walk away, back to the comfort zone full of cappucchinos in the sun and shopping with mama. I know what is going to happen out there in the ocean: The water will be freezing, I will get cramps, gasping for breath in panic. Only a strong swimmer can survive out there because I have never seen lifeguards in San Francisco anyway. Enough of the nonsense metaphors. What I am trying to say is: You will come to the point where you have to make yourself clear of what you want. There is no excuse anymore for hiding in your bed or in a bar. Drinks can solve problems, but they won’t decide for you. (No, they really don’t, it is called poor judgement.)

So you, as an invulnerable international superhero (grad student), are standing there, overwhelmed by way too many opportunities you have. Usually, these kind of options pop up in your head: #1 Do nothing because I have daddy. #2 Marry someone rich NOW. #3 Add a PhD/overpriced short course at Stanford to extend the visa. #4 Go back to your home country and get this stable job with a stable income. #5 Do nothing and rely on karma. #6 Jump and swim.

Let us look at the options. #1: Daddy might not want that. He wants his Lamborghini – not a membership for a lifetime sponsorship. #2: Dude, according to the market trends you are too old already. #3: Not the worst option for finding someone to marry or extending the childhood. #4: Did you know that regret is one of the strongest emotions a human can have? #5: Karma is a b**. #6: But it is so scary!

So why jump and swim then?

You came all the way from Timbuktu/Siberia/Munich to San Francisco to get a glimpse of the mysterious tech world and you LIKE it. But you have no idea how to get a job, most of your best friends and family are back home and it is really hard to find a shoulder to cry on. You start to get a sense of the city’s mentality: “If you want to be in this city, then also give back. These are the table stakes.” That’s what Marc Benioff said recently. I guess what he means by that: This city has so much to offer and if you want to be part of it you have to earn it. No flaky free riders. Fight for it or leave it. #All in or nothing.

Do you remember how scary it was when you jumped from a high cliff when you were little? It was intimidating because as a little kid you had no idea how cold the water was and if it is going to hurt or if you are going to loose your bathing trunks. Then you collected yourself, closed your eyes and jumped into the unknown. I still remember this magical moment after the jump when I popped up out of the cold water, full of adrenaline and with a big proud grin on my face.

I made my decision. I want this grin again.

And for the unresting souls out there:

Aljona Tcherniavskaia